Disclaimer: The characters mentioned and appearing in this piece belong to Roddenberry-Kirschner and Tribune, among others. I am just borrowing them.

Spoiler Warning: This fic contains spoilers for the second-season ep "Volunteers" and maybe one for "Redemption".

Author's note: This was just one of those fics that kind of wrote itself. While I tend to write my E:FC fics in a semi-related series, this isn't related to any of them, except maybe in my view of the E:FC universe. It takes place after the tag of "Volunteers".

Remembering Amanda
by Estirose
copyright 1999

She was too young, far too young, to die.

Liam put his head against the wall after Lili had left, far too tired to consider what anybody would have thought about it. It hadn't been that long ago since Amanda had been brought down to the former headquarters, sedated, by a small group of Liberation members whose meeting place had been raided. He remembered her sitting down here, finally accepting that she'd been lied to, that the Taelons were using her and the others, slowly killing her with that implant they'd given her.

She hadn't even been given a chance to reconcile with her mother, given a chance to realize how important a mother could be. To this day, he hadn't forgiven Doors for the alterations to his mother's implant that prevented her from knowing that what she was had passed on to him, that she had managed to pass on the family line to him. Her MI was already dying at that point - if they'd held her a bit longer, they would have had a free-willed individual on their side, but no, Doors got paranoid and Liam was without his mother. Never to be known as her son, except at the end.

Amanda's mother probably loved her, in her own way. Had to have loved her. He remembered dimly that Amanda meant "precious" or "beloved", and one didn't give that name to a child that wasn't loved. If only she'd had the chance. If only he'd gotten her out of there.

Sometimes he hated being the leader of the Liberation. She had the right to help prevent what had almost happened to her from happening to others - he had no right to stop her, but still, it hurt. It hurt a lot. It was part of the price of leadership, accepting that people could get hurt following his orders.

It only helped a little that the troops had been pulled out, but that wasn't his doing, unless one counted that he had successfully spurred Da'an to action. But in a way, it was good. At least he had some pull on that end, finally. He'd told Amanda that he'd protect Da'an with his life - now he had even more reason to do so.

No, it wasn't betrayal to be Da'an's protector and a Liberation member. Da'an knew what he was, not only his ancestry but his affiliation, and still, he had not betrayed Liam. If Liam could protect Da'an better by being Liberation, helping him to prevent the other Taelons from using Humanity as yet another tool, then it was worth it. Worth being torn.

It hurt. It really hurt. He knew he was growing older and wiser, but he hadn't quite found a way to stop the pain. In some ways, the Taelons were as much his kin as the humans, in a more distant way. And both species produced bigots and idiots. And more enlightened souls. He had taken his stand with his human kin, not being able to see one more species destroyed. It was his Kimera ancestors' desire to preserve all that they could of what species they encountered all over the universe. Too bad the Taelons had not picked that up from the Kimera, considering all they'd taken from them.

And now, they'd managed to destroy one more life, possibly altering whatever impact Amanda might have had on her people. She could have done a lot of good in the world, or at least turned her life around and lived it normally. Instead, she was gone, never given a chance to straighten things out.

He had to stop this. Somehow. With Da'an's help, or the Liberation's, or by himself. It was the only thing he could do.

Dragging himself up, he looked around the room again. "Goodbye, Amanda," he whispered. Head bowed, he left.


Earth: Final Conflict